the bitter cold

ok so when i was younger i always thought it would be cool to have a twin that i could have a kinetic connection with, you know that esp third eye kind of stuff...but i never really thought it would be attainable...however god seems to be a lot larger at times than i can really understand. recently ive had a couple different instances where ive felt a connection with people that i know they dont really feel it but i guess the easiest way to explain it is that i end up with a spiritual bridge between us...the first time this happened was at 61 at heartland, i had remembered dreaming a specific point of what happened that evening (though i had dreamed it months beforehand), two days later it happened again and instead of feeling immense peace and calming like the first time it was startling and hard to explain...it basically struck me dumb for a moment, tonight however was too much for me to grasp...while in church and for most of the evening i was chill-to-the-bone cold (sitting in the blue chairs at heartland i was wearing a long sleeved shirt, my fleece jacket zipped up, my glittens with my hands tucked into the sleeves of my jacket, i stole amy's hat and seans fleece coat and couldnt get warm...i was shivering) at a couple different points i warmed up slightly...only to end up shivering again...i later found out that one of my friends had been outside for almost the entire duration of me being cold...and somehow i just knew it was that, for whatever reason that was why i was cold too...i cant even fully describe it or explain it...but there was that bridge again, and as near as i can tell its a one sided kind of thing, i dont think they noticed it. so what direction is this supposed to take me? what is this for and can i maybe not share cold anymore...i mean MAN, im FREEEEEEEZing! and i hate being cold. :( i can only think of like two other times ive felt my bones get cold to the point of not being able to retain any heat and so instead of shaking it it just stays and sits. crazy!

ok so enough of making myself out to be even weirder than i am already...so tonight even through this crazyiness i still managed to be me...somehow while in best buy amy and i managed to not only slam into each other but smacked heads while doing so...dont ask cause i dont know all i really know was that after we smacked we stood embracing each other in a hug while laughing and standing right in front of a bewildered store clerk...it was priceless. and later in the evening while trying hard to explain my cold and my ability to i guess bridge with people i managed to stammer that it kinda made me "fleeking frip out"...yeah...that was a classic michelle stammer statement if ever there was a better one. :D i know god gave me a toungue to talk but man it really gets in my way! bleah. ooh yeah and hey ..."bananas". >:D tee hee

footprints

side note:

sorry this is so long and so personal and such a little stream of conciousness...welcome to my brain when it decides to turn on.

:)

...................................................................

there are many quotes that use the idea of footprints in them...whether talking about friends or family or any kind of caring action that really impacts you...however the one that always sticks with me is this:

One night a man had a dream. He dreamed he was walking along the beach with the Lord.
Across the sky flashed scenes from his life.
For each scene he noticed two sets of footprints in the sand: one belonging to him, and the other to the Lord.
When the last scene of his life flashed before him, he looked back at the footprints in the sand.
He noticed that many times along the path of his life there was only one set of footprints.
He also noticed that it happened at the very lowest and saddest times in his life.
This really bothered him and he questioned the Lord about it.
"Lord, you said that once I decided to follow you, you'd walk with me all the way.
But I have noticed that during the most troublesome times in my life, there is only one set of footprints.
I don't understand why when I needed you the most you would leave me."
The Lord replied," My son. My precious child, I love you and would never leave you.
During your times of trial and suffering, when you see only one set of footprints, it was then that I carried you."
Author Unknown

with what little free time ive had lately i keep comming back to this idea of being carried, i think back to all the hard times in my life, growing up in a rich school district and not being rich, always being the odd one, being thousands of miles away from home at a school that didnt want me with a boyfriend who was hurting so bad that he hurt me to make himself feel better, telling that same boy to take a running hike and meaning it, starting at a new school and trying to believe in myself, loosing the only grandparent ive ever had, getting mono when everything dance wise was comming together and seemingly so perfect (except for my belief in myself), struggling with this damn job of mine, wrestling with the idea that god wont give up on me, deciding that i need to take a leap of faith and truly learn to listen to my heart, and most recently believing that everything good that has been happening lately is worthy of someone like me and that i am truly deserving of a strong support system of friends and family and that i deserve to be happy and that i can make it happen. with all of that god has got to be tired...and that is just with me, just some of the lowest of low points...and ive had a good life so far...he is so amazing in that he seeks us out and gives us the tools we need to hold strong and pull out of the muck when we need it most. i am just in awe of him...as i sit here and reflect on the evening, i got to spend it with many many friends at a really nice place that was warm and safe and welcoming, i have the support i so desperately longed for during grammar school, i now have the security i had wanted when my grandma passed or when i was trying to breakaway from my verbally abusive boyfriend, and i have the safety of people who care about me to run to when i feel down or bothered. the best part is that because i am so often bothered by my environment (others who are hurting, stressors with my job, other bothers or things that go wrong or break) that the people i am blessed to have gotten to know recently are aware enough that they are able to refocus me onto myself, in short they unsmudge the mirror and clearly name exactly whatever it is that is bothering me (whether they realize it or not). and for that i have no words except that i am truly grateful.
thanksgiving came and went and yet as is very typically the case with me, the true awareness of what is going on or what is important
hits late,
and it hits hard.

i am so very very thankful for every blessing that is in my life right now...i am scared at times that i am not deserving of everything that has happened lately but then i remember that i do deserve it because if nothing else i will always have god's love, he loves everyone even the broken and the hurt and if you are looking for it you can see how he is always there, great and wonderous or quiet and unsignificant. what a wonderous thing.

pot? no, no pot here...well i dont think...

ok so today i went to work made next to nothing, went home tried to take a nap cause i was so tired...failed at that and then finally ended up over at jonya's house (beautiful house...thanks again jonya!) now mind you by the time i got over there most everyone else had left...only a couple people remained...to try to keep things summed up and short here is what i learned...playing speed scrabble and scrabble taught me that yes i am still the world's worst speller...but at least i dont cheat and use spanish words like darrell does. tony and darrell think that all girls do when they are together is talk make up and hair and clothes etc. .... um hate to tell it to you guys but i burp, fart, and tell more poop jokes when its just the girls than i ever do with you around! more that i learned...tony thinks heartland should have some more sport leauges such as baseball or football and has decided that we should have a name for our players..."we dont want to be the heartland little jesus's so maybe we could be the heartland devils! or wait how bout the heartland farmers...yeah..."
go little jeseus's go! and the best part...finding out that darrell is completely and utterly clueless when it comes to grocery shopping...ok so he got it in his head that he wanted banana pudding...so calls to tell me so...i explain to him that someone would be happy to make it for him but he has to find a recipie and purchase all the ingrediants (see cant spell) so he comes into jonya's kitchen laughing, wheezing, and stating that he hopes he got the right kind of sugar cause he doesnt know what separated sugar is...(the recipie or excuse me as darrell called it the menu...called for sugar to be separated...basically you put part of it in and then later add the rest) so at this lisa busts out laughing and im following shortly later after hearing darrell explain that he and tony ate two of the bananas "because the menu called for five, not seven" to which amy replies "so are you guys high? cause you're getting cravings and you're coughing"...(we had no more than two minutes earlier been talking about pot) to which i replied to darrell "well why didnt you just leave those two at the store?" and darrell goes "what? you mean they sell them by the banana?" and me being the smart ass "um...yeah! they sell them by the pound didnt you see the sign?"
so needless to say darrell doesnt do grocery stores but jonya makes a really mean banana pudding...man that was good! so that is the short jist of it...oooh and i won scrabble too! despite my spelling handicap. :D

sonya harding, pink rocks and for the love of god aaron shut up!

ok so today (thanksgiving) was pretty cool...i got to eat twice...once at mccormick and schmidts with my family, and once with amy and her friends eric and melynda, then i ended up at julie's house with a whole lot of other people, we ended up playing trivial pursuit and for the first time in my entire life i won a game of trivial pursuit!!!!!! but man oh man that game took forever!!!!! can i just say arts and entertainment is my friend! i am also surprised that i am not wheezing up a storm considering i spent the day with a total of three cats and two dogs...usually one cat is enough to make my asthma trip...at anyrate. im tired and exhausted but in a good way...may i survive tomorrow...i bartend and then will basically go right into a dinner shift at chilis...yehaw! ill probably see yall on saturday.
oh and ps...i think i broke my turkey...he wont gobble anymore!!!! :(
happy turkey day and here is to another full year of things to be thankful for.
:)

gobble turkey gobble

happy turkey day all! sorry i havent written in a while...been busy and guess what!!!!!


my LAUNDRY is DONE!!!!! ALL of it!!!!! :) (and my mother reading over my shoulder is excitedly urging me to tell you that it is also put away) and i even went through my insane amount of clothes (yes i could probably have clothed half of hurricane katrina's victims and no im not kidding) i weeded em out at least a little and came up with two 39 gallon trash bags full of clothes to giveaway. :) yea!

ok so happy turkey day and all that jazz...and ill write more later
love yall

oooh and random falling story i almost dropped my photo subject down into my downstairs neighbors yard! yes!!!!

frying pans, fear and red noses

ok so to try to summarize things...amy is finally getting back to being well again...i never got food poisening (cant spell) unless you count a tiny bit o rumbly gas...which i dont and god has me cornered! ok so some of you know that i have this habit of trying to run from the truth (the truth or truths that have to do with me and my personal life) but i do not seem to be doing so hot at it...ive tried running from my god given talents, to the fact that i hate my job to dealing with people on a personal level...and in all circumstances god has managed to sneak up behind me and whack me on the head w/ his cast iron frying pan and whacked some sense into me on each of these topics...how ever typically with each of these whackings i end up a blubering teary eyed mess...not a big deal you say...however...i HATE to cry...i get all red and splotchy and become a sniveling snot drippy mess...ewww! yeah im tired of being whacked and i am starting to fear hearing the woosh from the frying pan! make it stop! im running out of kleenex!
at anyrate wish me luck as i try to get up the nerve to make it to my first ballet class in almost a full year! and pray for me on tuesday so that i might be able to get out of bed and or sit down to pee without crying out of muscle pain...for i am so out of shape right now i feel i will find a whole whole lot of muscles that i forgot i even had! :S
to pain!
:)

free isnt always free

ok so amy calls and the plan is to go shopping, but before hand we decide to eat at amy's work and help them out by finishing up the leftovers from the day before's boxed lunch sent from jason's deli....yes it was free food...i know what you are thinking...great! you get a sandwhich, a pickle, chips and a cookie...yum...well....free food isnt always free...sometimes there is a cost it just isnt money. yeah well dont know how or why or any of the particulars but i do know the turkey wasnt ok...how do i know this you ask? well let me tell you after we get done watching the movie elf at jordanne's apartment amy states she doesnt feel well and that she is going to go home...well seeing as how i got only 4 hours of sleep last night i decide i should go to (besides amy was my ride) well we get ready to turn out of the apartment complex and she says...i dunno i think im gonna puke...so i say...well if your gonna do it then do it and then maybe youll feel better...well boys and girls...she did and it was not a very pretty sound...nor was it just once...BUT i now know what it is like to watch a lady puke...i dont htink i have ever seen anyone puke like amy...i even told her in the car while there were three cars behind us waiting for her to turn or move the car that "i have never seen anyone puke as beautifully as you"
yes that is right...i have seen plenty throw up but never seen someone just bend over, let loose and then spit and come up looking like nothing happened...it was crazy...if i hadnt just heard it with my own ears i would never have believed that she had puked! im in awe of the master...cause man you do NOT want to see me puke...it sooooo aint pretty! so anyway she pukes a couple times and then some turdbucket honk's thier horn...like they cant see her with the car door open puking! anyrate she just nochalantly closes the car door and turns out onto antioch and takes me to my car and says bye...weird...all this time im feeling just fine...no problems, im thinking that its just her...yeah well i get home and my tummy starts to rumble...yeah...i dunno what happened to that turkey but it was mad at someone or something!
the moral of the story is dont eat free food if its turkey and if you have to be near someone who is puking, make sure its amy cause its virtually painless!
(feel better amy!)

two days in a row!!!

ok so thus far today has been right up there as good days go. work was work but wasnt awful, and amy and jonya came in and i got to wait on em...which is always fun to wait on people you know cause it makes it not like work. :) then squared away some turkey day plans...the 'rental units will be arriving in kc on tuesday evening and then leave for st.louis thursday evening...short and sweet...what usually works best for us. :) though this will be the first turkey day that i will have in which i will be sitting down to a meal that i did not help with at all...(we are going out to eat-crazy i know!) not to mention that we are eating at like 11 or so, so i dont even know if you could get away with calling it dinner....oh well its a meal with family and that is what counts. more later.

my socks got rocked off!

ok so today was one of the best days i think i have had in like forEVER!!!!!
yeah...it was that good!
i met with the dance department chair today and i will be allowed back into the dance program at umkc, so you may now offically call me twinkle toes again, so i got that squared away at least to some extent. i then met up with kathy to tell her the good news and from there we went dress shopping for me...ok so i have the kinda body which makes it horrendous to shop for a dress...my top half is like two sizes smaller than my bottom half, which is why when the first dress that i tried on fit well and i liked it and then actually had to go down a size....well lets just say kathy is good luck and i think a small miracle happened at the store...i purchased a dress that fits in under a half hour i think...its just crazy!
work was work but i did end up making more money than i had anticipated which is just way cool and then just went home and thought about how lucky i am...i had tons of people today check up on me as well as pray for me as far as the dance stuff goes and i think it made a world of difference...so awesome, so powerful, sooooo cool! thanks to everyone...you helped quiet the deamons from the past and it allowed me to go into that meeting with a peaceful confidence i havent felt in a very very long time. today was just energizing beyond belief! and i am soooo ready to rock everyone else's socks off once i get back into shape with my dancing! :D
so get ready to be rocked!
:P

goin to the chapel and ....

tee hee hee! off the shoulder dresses anyone?
>:)

quotable quotes

since i still havent figured out how to put these on the side i decided i have too many to just not post em...so instead here there are...there are from the last week or so...

"but a chocolate martini isnt a froo froo drink!"

"i think you broke my face!"

i got your back....
and i got your front!

"i ride the helmet on god's ....errr no...i WEAR the helmet on god's special bus"

"...as long as i can keep feeding your rabbit grass"

"no i dont want an ice cube...it wont fit!...it tastes like burning!"

"women are like warm, sweet syrup, yeah..."

"i do NOT want to be batman...i want to be superman, and he can be super jr."

"but i dont pay a gas bill so i cant HAVE gas!"

"no, i do NOT like your teabag!!!"

"i cant believe you slept through the war!"

"look! my head looks five times as big as yours! oh wow...you can really take that the wrong way!"

"hey! that's better than grilled cheese sandwhiches!"

"you are in timeout!"...."did you know that when i was little my parents took away my chair at the dinner table cause i wouldnt sit in it right?"..."WHAT!!!?!!!"

grilled cheese

ok so if you have never seen three girls all get giddy at the same time...it looks a little like three year olds trying to wait to open presents...they get really squirmy and start rocking, and or figiting lots as well as giggling...so yeah just imagine me and amy and kathy all giddy at the same time sitting in chipolte...yeah im sure we were pretty funny looking. oh well...i dont think any of us cared...i mean..."man! thats better than grilled cheese sandwhiches!" "mmm!!!!" i dont know about anyone else but once my mind goes in the gutter...i have a really hard time getting it out. and tonight i lost it early early on...it made for a fun evening but it still can cause problems.

oooooh i also have a great story....its of me falling!!!! and the funny part is that i called amy not more than 5 seconds after it happened! i being my usual wonderiffic self managed to fall UP the stairs...not down, but UP the stairs whilst i was carrying my fairly full laundry basket...when i hit the stairs i somehow managed to not loose the laundry everywhere and even better miraculously managed to not summersault onto kathy who was right behind me. then we had to try to not loose it and either burst into loud fits of laughter or pee right there on the stairs because we both were trying to be quiet seeing as how it was late as well as trying to rush up the stairs due to the fact that we both had had quite a bit of water today...it was priceless.

at anyrate today was a fairly feel-good day (it was nice to have a day almost comepletely full of good feelings). wee haw!

the cow goes moo, and the heinz bottle goes splat

ok so i was reading amy's blog tonight and in it she talks about balance...balance is a funny thing, like many things in my life i seem to really struggle with it. i struggle with being able to focus my attention, i struggle with my in ability to have any kind of patience, i struggle with perfectionism, and yes i also struggle with balance. i struggle with walking without triping or falling, as well as staying balanced emotionally/physically and not overdoing any one thing. for example, i have a very hard time finding balance in using my days off productively vs. recooperating. i either pour myself into my work and loose my sense of self and sense of who i am or i pull away from work and loose my sense of accomplishment and contribution...in many ways it almost seems as if its a no win situation, trying to keep things balanced lately hasnt been working because im just too exhausted...balance when its right should feel effortless...i know cause having danced for aproximately 22 years i am aware that when you do find your balance once you've got it you can stay there with little to no effort for how ever long you want. seeking balance is painful at times, annoying, and downright frustrating, but well worth the annoyance for the end result and the result can produce beautiful things. so balance on! just be careful to not end up like caley's heinz 57 bottle!

a snippett into my head

in the musical wicked there is a song about defying gravity and lately its been playing over and over in my head...here are the main parts that keep flying around in my head:

SOMETHING HAS CHANGED WITHIN ME
SOMETHING IS NOT THE SAME
I'M THROUGH WITH PLAYING BY THE RULES OF SOMEONE ELSE'S GAME!
TOO LATE FOR SECOND GUESSING
TOO LATE TO GO BACK TO SLEEP
IT'S TIME TO TRUST MY INSTINCTS
CLOSE MY EYES...
AND LEAP
IT'S TIME TO TRY DEFYING GRAVITY
I THINK I'LL TRY DEFYING GRAVITY
AND YOU CAN'T PULL ME DOWN

...

I'M THROUHG EXCEPTING LIMITS
'CUZ SOMEONE SAYS THEY'RE SO
SOME THINGS I CANNOT CHANGE,
BUT 'TIL I TRY I'LL NEVER KNOW!
TOO LONG I'VE BEEN AFRAID OF
LOSING LOVE I GUESS I'D LOST
WELL IF THAT'S LOVE,
IT COMES AT MUCH TOO HIGH A COST!
I'D SOONER BUY DEFYING GRAVITY
KISS ME GOODBYE I'M DEFYING GRAVITY
AND YOU CAN'T PULL ME DOWN!

...

SO IF YOU CARE TO FIND ME,
LOOK TO THE WESTERN SKY
AS SOMEONE TOLD ME LATELY,
EVERYONE DESERVES THE CHANCE TO FLY!
AND IF I'M FLYING SOLO,
AT LEAST I'M FLYING FREE!
TO THOSE WHO GROUND ME,
TAKE A MESSAGE BACK FROM ME!
TELL THEM HOW I AM DEFYING GRAVITY!!!
I'M FLYING HIGH DEFYING GRAVITY!!!
AND SOON I'LL MATCH THEM IN RENOWN
AND NOBODY
IN ALL OF OZ...NO WIZARD THAT THERE IS OR WAS
IS EVER GONNA BRING
ME DOWN!!!

ive just got to be me

well...i got two loads of laundry done (finally!) too bad i started thinking about getting it done at about 4pm or so and i didnt get it done until about 9!!!!! YESSSSSS! i am wonderful! so yes i can be super special sometimes, for example check out amy's blog and my wonderiffic response...or lack there of...so yes i was having a special day today...but that isnt the end...oh no. it gets much much better...so i go over to kathys house to watch batman begins...well i never imagined i would end up laughing for a solid 10-15 minutes at that movie...you know that part where christian bale is leaping away from comissioner gordon and barely hangs onto the fire escape and instead of looking graceful like batman usually does he smacks into the escape, looses his grip, smacks (with a dull thwack) into the next lowest part of the escape and then (oh yes yes yet again looses his grip) and smacks into the third part of the escape...yeah i was not expecting graceful bat man to thwack thud and look like a cartoon character...so i start laughing and cant stop until i see the batmobile about oh 5 scenes later...by that time i was the only one laughing and yet i couldnt stop...i think i even was lauging so hard at one point that i got everyone else laughing just at me...then later i pipe up with "i cant believe he just petting his utility belt!" and kathy pipes up with "thats so the ladies look at his crotch" (refering to a comment involving paul and his belt buckle that spins...needless to say paul turned a couple different shades of pink, red and purple...goodtimes) then later after the movie i think i remember the quote "i like to squeeze my money hard, yeah i said hard!" so as you may have guessed my brain spent most of the evening in the gutter. >:)
oh well...oooh and another special moment today was when i was arguing with one of my co-workers i kept telling him that it was friday the 11th and he kept saying you mean the 10th and i kept telling him no...that is until he pointed out that it actually wasnt friday yet.
but i dont care if i am special or not cause i did two loads of laundry AND took out my trash, AND got a couple groceries so my fridge isnt completely empty, AND did a load of dishes, AND swept the kitchen floor...so I ROCKED today!
k im tired g'nite!

i am the queen of procrastination

just ask kathy and she will tell you how badly i procrastinate...well actually ask anyone who has made it into my apartment...what a dump! why do i hate to pick up after myself so much!?! i dont want to be a dirty girl...but my house is truly a disgusting disaster zone right now. and the laundry! oh god the laundry!!!!!! why!???? why does it have to be such a daunting and horrendous task? i mean lugging it pound for pound up and down the stairs only to drop it once its clean, or loose a sock or anything else you can think of. ugh! why am i so opposed to growing up? im about ready to call home and ask my mommy to come save me! but i really dont want to do that either...cause then we will just fight about why i dont want her doing it "like that" heh...i said doing it! >:) sorry im in a mood where i dont care what i do as long as its not laundry...and yet i HAAAAAAVE to do it tonight...i need clean work clothes and clean underwares! dont wanna! hrmf! ok well i am going to get my arse up and try to at least get one load done.

sometimes i wonder about myself!

isnt the week over yet?

this is the week that feels like a thousand! weeee haaawwww! good news is that its only for now...my job is only for now. :) soon...something better...what im not sure but that is part of the great part about it...its unlimited. life is like a lump of clay that you get to mold and play with til you find what you like best, and its always an adventure getting to the end result. :)
just wanted to say a quiet thank you to those who have been praying for me, whether directly or indirectly, ive heard them/felt them, so thank you it means a lot. things lately have been getting a lot clearer (for once) and its a nice feeling.
well droopy eyes say good nite!

the energizer bunny

ok so waiting tables for 8 and a half hours straight with no break on your feet the whole time just completely blows! i think the three worst things about it was that #1) i had to be on my feet the whole time, #2) i didnt really get a chance to eat anything, and #3)-the worst of all-i didnt get a chance to pee when i needed to!!!! i didnt get to pee until AFTER the gathering!!!!! though that explained my headache! :S
so yeah work even though the money was fine was really not so much fun...however the gathering was great and just exactly what i needed tonight. also it was a lot of fun to twinkle toe it in a large empty space, i cant think of anything better than feeling like you are literally flying. :D
it was also fun to go to chili's not to work but to have fun. i just wish i could have let loose a bit more...it was a bit stifling to have my manager lurking about. oh well.
ok so im exhausted...nite nite time
more tomorrow

is it over? *wimper*

um yeah ... today was just yukkie, typically the saturday lunch crowd is more prominent and also not quite so careful with thier money. so needless to say lunch today was just dull and boring for the most part. tonight on the other hand...its quite rare for me to ring anything more than $600 or so in an evening, though tonight i rang $970! it was insane! i havent seen chilis this busy in forever...i mean not since i first started have we had a steady wait like we did tonight. it was crazy! (nice for the bill paying but just crazy!) people were for the most part really good about it but about halfway through the evening i was going so fast that i cant even remember anything about it...most of the dinner rush is just a big blur which almost makes it feel like it was five days squished into one evening. so im exhausted and am going to sleep now...everyone pray that i dont have a chilimare...or for those not in on the chili's lingo, a nightmare that is very very real about chili's stuff...ive had a couple the most memorable one was that a velociraptor was after me and i had to hide on the shelf where the trays are kept and the only thing that would keep it away was my dirty socks...so i kept trying to throw my dirty socks at it...i honestly think that is the best ever dream...just cause its sooo wacked out and the even better part is that at the time i was getting upset about the piles of laundry i had to do...so it just all fit...it was great.
well nitey nite time...
sweet dreams to you all!

the novel edition part I (the extended version)

ok so today felt like three days pushed into one...not only did i work this morning but early this (well yesterday-friday-) morning on my way to work i stumbled upon music from the nutcracker, as i started dancing in my head...typically meaning im envisioning myself onstage as you name it part/role twinkle toesing it away, this of course while i am driving...not always a good combo...at anyrate i rush into work demanding they change the radio to it...only to find out that once i get it set to that station its over...yeah my work day was kinda like that the whole day...and why oh why do i always get the crazy psycho people sitting in my section? im tired of my section of the restruant always being the temporary psych ward!
so i finally got out of work and then decided to go shopping to see what kind of fall clothes i could find...now i rarely ever go home empty handed...but today i went home without finding anything that i was looking for...man i hate wool! and why is it any sweater i see that i like just HAS to be wool...the most itchy substance on earth!?! then shopping made me run late in meeting up with amy et. all, so thus far it was a frustrating day.
so i meet up with everyone at panera on the plaza...try to order what i wanted but ended up with what they had left...had to compromise on both my meal and my drink...but i lived. before we leave amy and i go to the restroom, yeah...um sorry for the weak of heart but i have never in my life seen a turd as large as the one that was waiting for us in the middle stall!!!!! not to mention the fact that it was a womans! so needless to say amy and i were already rolling before the evening was even competely off the ground...
we wound our way to the library...yes the one where the old post office used to be...as i was saying...however upon returning home smart smart me realized that the old post office iwas refering to was actually in hte basement of the old library!!!! way to go me!!!! yeee haw! anyrate at the library we heard about Slothology (waaaaay cool novel excerpt) and then headed back to our cars so we could head up to an art exhibition, on the way to the cars i showed everyone my tour jetes and sean scared the crap out of amy. the art exhibition was across the street from the Totally NUDE place...not only did it take us forever to decide to go in to the building but while outside waiting i guess for the best time to make our wonderful entrance we starting talking about old tv shows and walker texas ranger...never really got into the show...except for when conan o'brien shows clips of it on his late night show. inside the art exhibition we saw some awsome photos, had paul show us exactly how one should watch a purse if ever asked (sit on the floor infront of it and just stare) and it was upon trying to take a photo of him crosslegged on the floor that i realized my phone is broken...now sean explained that it was just a booger on hte camera lens...which of course got me a little nervous cause my allergies have been acting up something fierce so it wouldnt be completely beyond the realm of possible-ness, well it wasnt a booger...for whatever reason i had a really nice ant race going on.
from the art show we went on to the hurricane all the while amy and katie are singing the theme song for walker texas ranger...and then later singing our lalalas just like the smurfs. the music tonight was awesome! bit on the louder side of things for me...when you see more than five different people put in ear plugs you know its tooo loud...and this comes from the girl who likes to feel the beat revirb in her body, at anyrate...even though it was deafeningly loud it was wonderful...you know its good when i cant keep still and have to "move to da music" and its even better when you can corrupt everyone around you and get them dancing or jiving too! :D
and for the record i michelle fell at the very least twice yes twice at the hurricane, once when i found the one spot of the floor that was missing some floor board and twice when i almost fell directly into the trash can!!! (thank you molly for catching me...funny thing was that i had warned her i may grab on to her if i started to fall backward and sure enough!)
okay and why is poor paul always there in the middle of our conversations when it changes to boobs? what a lucky guy! all the girls not only talk about boobs everytime they are around him but we also grab em, adjust em and poke em in front of him too!
then after conversing, well yelling actually...hard to hear over the band we had a nice game of keep away with darrell's dr.pepper hat...the longest game i think ive ever been apart of...it was well orchestrated. >:) tee hee!
we (the group i came with) eventually grew too tired and decided to leave before we all fell over from exhaustion...amy upon walking to the car narrowly missed the pile of puke on the sidewalk and then took us all to our separate cars...however since i was the last stop amy and i got to talking...it turned into such a lengthy conversation (good but lengthy) that a security guard came up to the car and told us to leave cause they were getting ready to lock the parking garage...its been awhile since ive been kickout of a parking lot...i think highschool was the last time that happened for me...well amy "Eureka! ...so that explains why...wow...that makes alot of sense!"
and now for the absolute beeeest part...i get home and start fiddling with my camera phone cause its really quite a new phone so the fact that its showing ant races is not ok with me, well me being the smart one finally realizes that my phone actually has a lens cap so to speak...yeah...smartness was trying to take a picture with the cap on...too bad i initially thought that the fact that it moved was that it was broken...well its not broken it works fine...hooray!
and now that i am completely stuffed up with congestion and my eyes are drooping i am going to stop rambling and go to bed, so heres to huge turds, tour jetes, nude texas walker ranger, b*tchin music, keep away, falling, those "a-ha" moments and last but not least the thank god i didnt break it moments! :D
nite nite...its beddy bye time!
(some day i will have a big girl bed!....mmmmmmm space....)

odds and ends make pretty bows

ok so while i was at work i remembered another incident last night that i feel i should add. also i overhead this great quote from one of my tables tonight...or at least i thought it was funny, "she's so girlie that its like she has nail polish running through her veins or something..." i about died cause i know waaaaay to many people like that...i always feel guilty about eavesdropping at my tables when i walk away laughing audibly at whatever has been said at the table...and yet i love it when that happens.
so my other tidbit is from last night at starbucks after we came in from being outside, kathy and i gravitated towards the childrens area and once over there i felt a need to sit at the kiddie table in the brightly colored kiddie chair...as i was sitting down i told kathy "i think its big enough to cover one of my butt cheeks!" okay so maybe it was a little bit bigger than that...but not by much...at anyrate later in our converses i bust out with "hey amy will you go mattress shopping with me? cause i want a big girl bed!" which of course confused just about everyone, first of all i had just managed to completely change the subject and seccond of all amy hadnt a clue as to why i wanted her to go. so i explained that i needed someone who would keep it fun and lively cause-side note: i am a stomach sleeper-i am nervous about shopping for a mattress due to the fact that in order to try them out i will have to stick my tuckus in the air waaay more than i ever wanted to, it gets enough attention on its own without any help like laying down in a showroom with it up for all to see...the conversation then drifted to why people wear pants with words on the butt...yet again i have to say i dont need anything else to draw attention to mine...if i were to wear pants like that it would be like having a bright neon strobe light attached to my tuckus...no thank you!
oooh and one last tieup: hooray for binkies, the best way to feel safe and secure, too bad mine is back home in st.louis...i miss you boo banket!
to all god bless and good night, get your dancin shoes on for tomorrow! for tomorrow night we are goin OUT on the town! look out kc im gonna be out on a friday night! YEE-HAW!!!!! lookout boys here i come! tee hee...wonder how much trouble i can get myself into....hmmm

boobs, toothpaste, popup cards, and did i mention boobs?

ok so yesterday was one of the best days ive had in a long time. not only did i make good money at work, i also had the evening off, met up with some friends, made a complete ass of myself (like im so good at doing) and then went on to almost win a game of pool (literally almost won, it was down to who ever could sink the cue ball!) and then to round out the day ended it by watching one of my favorite movies ever...the muppet movie. all in all a faboolous day. but nothing beats the quotes i got out of everyone! here are some of the best ones:

tony said to me during a phone conversation..."... i guess im just a really weird kid", this was of course in reference to the fact that he is a daydreamer romanticist.

shannon said at starbucks... "ooooh im really good at making pop up cards...does that count?"

kathy had pulled me aside outside of starbucks just to tell me "id like to say i like the whole standing outside thing cause i can fart and nobody knows it!" (hate to tell ya that if you tell me it doesnt work like that then!)

and the best of course is for last...jenae was explaining to us last night that on sunday night she was telling a story about i cant even remember what now but basically the gist is that she thinks she really scared paul...yet again somehow on sunday night (yes the night i crumpled to the floor of chilis) the table she was sitting at got on the topic of boobs. well jenae was explaining how at a great point in her story she grabbed her boobs and gave them a heave ho adjustment...the kicker is that she did all of this while being directly in front of paul who apparently reacted quite well to the aforesaid act..."his eyes got so huge and all i could think of was this poor farm kid i think i really scared him!" the greatest thing was that while she was re-telling this in the middle of starbucks she was doing so loudly and right next to this middle aged man who appeared to be studying or preparing something...of course the story got us all talking about boobs...i cant imagine how that guy was getting anything done between jenae grabbing herself and the rest of us telling our own boob stories...

what a trip!

good news! good news!

ok so im a nerd and i looooove getting phone calls and i actually got 6 today!!!! :) and the best thing is that everyone who called actually left a message (rarely ever happens!) yay! and...im a little further to getting everything set up for me to go back to school...i was nervous that the head of the dance department wouldnt call me back...but she did and didnt say it was out of the question so that gives me hope that they will allow me to finish my degree. :D granted im still scared as sh*t especially if they end up requiring me to re-audition *gulp* so yes i am on the fitness bandwagon...crunch and lunge crunch and lunge...ill find those leg muscles yet! well, i will...eventually.
more later....getting distracted...yes, i michelle am getting distracted.
go figure!

and then she said....

enjoy a photo of my sweet boo Calib (my 3 yr old holland lop who is VERY chubby) he does tricks like this one...he stands up so he can then get a cranberry.
:)

today was a wonderful day! i slept til 2pm ("oh what a feelin!") got some of my many errands done and then got a phone call from one of my favorite people in the whole wide world...my marji called me! :D
we've been friends since high school and we danced together as well as plotted and schemed many a time. so after the usual catching up and highly animated storytelling or two or three we got down to business...analyzing life and people, as only we do best...uh...yeah...well it was while she was explaining her brother's frustration with a girl and how people contradict themselves that she gave me the best example ive heard of in a long time...."its like if you had a beautiful vacation home in iraq, great! but what's the point?! its not like you can go visit it right now!"
she then began to retell a story that only made me realize how similar she and my friend amy are...apparently lately marji has had a rather twitchy stomach muscle that causes her to get hiccups frequently. she proceeded to give a great mental picture when she told me that when they start up she tries to ignore them in the hopes that they will magically go away and or that her officemates wont notice and that by doing so it actually makes them louder and much worse. (to get the full picture you have to understand that marji is typically very animated and enthusiastic so for her to sit at her desk trying to be quiet and non-attention getting while nervously looking around with a grin on her face while hiccuping loudly...well like most of my stories i guess you have to be there) at anyrate because of her twitchy stomach her officemates and to her dismay even her boss has taken to telling her when they are or have "pulled a marji", typically during the most inopportune times. i guess the best part is that like amy has decided to do marji takes it in stride and tries to find the humor in the fact that the people she works with now regularly tell her that they think of her during embarrassing moments and feel a need to share them with her.
now dont get me wrong i dont have two friends that go through life hiccuping like crazy...i just have one, my marji, amy on the other hand is much more like me in the fact that no matter how hard we try we just cant seem to walk without tripping, stumbling, bumping into people or tables or chairs or other inadament objects, or wobbling. i mean we dont fall all the time, we just seem to do it often and most often when lots of other people are around. though unfortunately the last time i fell was not amonst friends...well actually i guess it was...here amy tells it better anyway... my fabulous chilis trip

wait...what time is it?

ok so why am i so stupid as to never go to bed when i need to? and why is it that i end up most active at night? i think im broken...
????

one constant theme...

it shouldnt be such a revelation that i am who i am and nothing is going to change that but me...but somehow it is. i keep thinking that one day im gonna be able to clean up after myself or actually get to bed at the time i truely wanted to...or even heaven forbid learn how to spell! but then reality sets back in and i realize that those things make me who i am and they arent ever going to change.
for example...i love halloween cause it allows me to act like im 3 and play dress up and bounce around acting like the giant dork that i am. tonight i yet AGAIN had to work, so i being my ADD self spent (uncharacteristically of me) litterally hours getting ready...hair up like hte dog robot in i think its battle star gallactica glitter everywhere, false eyelashes and yes i even broke out the dusty tiara and the best part is that no one batted an eye! well actually the best part was that i got most everyone at work to put on some of the other costumes i brought...being that chili's is so corporate we were not allowed to wear costumes but "hair" accessories were ok...so armed with princess headbands and bunny ears and best of all cow ears/horns and tail i took chilis by storm. i got some great photos of my co-workers...now if i can only figure out how to get them here...then we were deader than a doornail, like i havent seen such a slow night ever not even when its been blizarding! so i tried to get everyone to play tag, yeah like usual with my bright ideas no one else thought it was a good idea...someone even suggested we play hide & seek...wonder what she was hinting at... oh well i am rambling like only i could ramble soooo...
till tomorrow...oooooh my day off! yippeeeeeee! maybe i can get some of my to-do list done, yeah thats it ill do laundry tom, yeah...