its a small world after all...

yeah, it really really is, today i was talking with one of my fellow dance majors and learned that they too know some of the heartland crew and we then proceeded to have the most wonderfully spontaneous 'god' conversation...it was so neat. ya know one of those warm fuzzies moments. weee haw!
cautionary note: trying to dance with a sinus infection is not the best idea...especially if that dancing involves being upside down or turning...both of which lead to being a disoriented stumbling mess. (dont try it just take my word for it!) yikes!

wonderful wonderful drugs!

ahhhhhhhhh. yes ladies and gentlemen i michelle have for the hundredthousandthumpteenth time been diagnosed with acute sinusitis and been given DRUGS to with any luck at all knock this bug out. (please keep your fingers crossed). i am so ready to be done with being sick...ive been sick for over a week now and am really tired of playing the what color will my snot be today game. (its really not that fun cause there are only so many colors that are possible). but yes hopefully i am on the road back to being healthy. YEE HAW!

ringling bros here i come!

ok so today was one of the most jammed packed days ive had in a while...i was up and dressed by 9am on SUNDAY (rarely ever happens) and did not see home again until 4:15pmish inbetween leaving and comming back home i went to heartland and then had for lack of a better word a photo shoot that could have doubled as street entertainment...its too bad we didnt advertise and sell tickets cause it was definately a great show! nothing better than a day filled with no think GLAZED HAM yeah thats it! ah dang! oooh i love your face in that! ooh try this!
and then you notice nae's scruntched nose and grimmace adn you realize that your gonna have to hold that ridiculous pose longer...yeah baby! no for real i had soooo much fun today with that photo shoot i havent laughed that long or hard in a really long time...and it was totally worth it to be able to hold a shrubbery trimmer oh yeah! though i must admit my most favorite quote of the day would have to be at chilis when alison told molly, "im so glad that you like potatoes!" and the best part? she was being totally serious! :D it was one of those comments you end up doing a double take to...where its a did i really hear you say that kind of a thing. :) well i need to get some sleep so i might have half a chance of getting better.
mucinex is the most wonderful thing in the whole world right now! get some! try it! its just heavenly.
peace be with you all!

prayer requests

ok so if any of y'all are bored i ask that you take 30 sec or so and help me by praying for these few things:

-the ability to get healthy and STAY healthy

-that my body will hold up while i try to finish my dance degree (only really has to last me three semesters)

-that someday ill get my apartment cleaned up

-that i will find a job and sooooooon!

-that i can learn to put my true emotions out there and live like there is no day but the one we are living today

-that i can learn how to handle rejection instead of hide from it and get defensive

-that i continue to grow in my walk with the lord

k i think thats it, well maybe thats more than 30 secs, oh well maybe do it in two goes?...if you think of anything else by all means pray for that too.

thanks.

quotable quotes

"id ask you how you're doing...but..."

"dont tell them they're cute...they'll get a cute complex!"

"im sorry...im just not good with those mercy gifts!...i just...yeah"

"im NOT ok...but im going to be"

"do you know billy?" ..... "yeah"...."do you know michelle?"...."yeah, you ask me this like everytime!"...."oh...i have a short term memory problem"..."we know"

"oh honey...you're making me go into mom mode...i just want to fix it!"

"she's a little bit thicka"

"snickers anyone?"

"oooooooh pizza!"...."YES! its the pizza man!"

a promise to myself

tonight was one of those frying pan moments...and it was a doozy...we're talking super heavy steel or a combo of lead and iron so heavy you can barely pick it up much less swing it...yeah this one is gonna leave me with a concussion i do believe...
end result...a promise to myself and a request for you all...i promise to myself that i will spend this year trying to stand and fight when things get hard or sticky or potentially hurtful or may make me vulnerable instead of fleeing in fear. i promise to try to answer truthfully when asked how i am doing and to take compliments as just that...a compliment not something to try to blow off. and now my dear friends your part in all this...if at any time you see me go into flee mode (ie i am clearly lying when i say i am fine, i dont answer at all or you notice me clamming up or disappearing into the side lines) call me on it...challenge me to stand and fight and god-forbid actually talk about how i am truly feeling. i have tried to pretend im fine for the last umpteen years and that hasnt really worked for me so now its time to stop running cause im getting no-where. i deserve to stop and fight for me. so please help me to do that more. and i apologize in advance for snapping at you when you get too close to the truth.
love you all!
and thanks for being there.

you cant run

its true...god will not let you run from him...he will collar you and bring you back faster than you can blink an eye! which is awesome. ive been wrestling with a lot of junk this last week and yet i survived for two reasons, one i have such a great community of people who care about me and two god loves me and will not let me be like an ostrich with its head in the sand...he continues to tap me on my shoulder until i decide to look up and see his glorious plan for me. i love it! and it always comes at the best times too.

ok now that ive had my gush on to the fun of the evening...

i actually enjoy going into chilis now...imagine that! i actually have fun there now! and it was really fun to watch jonya smack darrell for a smartass comment he made...it was great to just sit there and laugh about as hard as i did the day i fell, (for that story go here) and the best part was no one knew what i was laughing about...i love days like that cause the looks on people's faces end up being priceless and makes me laugh harder. and lets see...there was also the comment that "we are only as small as we let ourselves be", then a large group of us near the front door trying to guess that seinfeld episode since it was on mute, me showing amy in the parking lot how i learned how to shake my ass...and then right after isaac kept trying to run jonya down me shaking it in front of isaac's car...tee hee...yeah chili's rocked tonight! :) AND i got my baby boom box back finally so now i officially have everything that i own out of chilis. :)

YEE HAW!!! for a wonderful end to a so-so day.

wait waht?

ok so not only am i mad at hyvee cause they are just stupid there i am also in utter shock and amazement that it is already mid january...where did the time go? i feel like it was just sunday...i am not remembering what is going on these last few weeks...its like a freeking blur!
ok so why hyvee is stupid...apparently they have this dumb rule now that they will only take checks that start with the number 1000 or higher...why? i dunno cause when you order checks you can start them at whatever number so its not like its going to truly protect hyvee its i think more a conspiracy to get people to have to reorder checks than anyhting...UGH! and from what the manager there said all the stores are starting to do that...how obnoxious! im sorry sometimes i like dealing in paper and not plastic...dont force me to do something cause that will make me want to do it less! hrumf to you!
k im doing better now that i got that out...there are some days when i hate the world and today it seems is one of those days! oh well. so be it!
:P

YeeHaw!

ok so yesterday was so full of stuff that it ended up feeling like it was two days in one...mostly all good though. :) ok so i borrowed my cousins car (a grand am) since mine was still sick with the alternator being a rat bastardo but that was fun cause it actually accelerates when you hit the gas pedal...hee hee hee, then dance went really well, i had a great pointe class and then had a bit of a strange modern class...it was more modern/jazz which is funny cause i am not a jazzy kinda person so its always funny to see me try to get funkified with the music...but the best part about jazz class er modern class....I yes ME learned how to shake the junk in my trunk! i can finally look like the backup dancers for that shake that thing song by i think its black eyed peas....i kept showing everyone throughout the rest of the day! hee hee. then i got to have coffee with caley who just rocked my socks off with her insight and just sheer awesomeness, i had dinner with liisa and allison which was very cool cause i rarely get homecooked meals, and then darrell wrestled with my car to put in a new alternator...word of advice...do NOT get a saturn car because the alternator is in the worlds worst position...now while i love the fact that darrell fixed my car and its running again and thats wonderful...i think during the ordeal he may have popped a few blood vessels while having choice words with the car...needless to say after he got done he swore to never put another one in a saturn because "who ever designed this car musta designed the whole thing and forgot to put the alternator in so they just stuck it there...so STUPID!" but the great thing is that he won...and i won...cause i have a working car now...YEA!
well i need to run but yeah if you ever wanna see me shake it just ask ... cause i can really shake it good! hee hee hee.

quotable quote

sorry guys...only a couple cause i havent written them down...should have but didnt...


joe, one of my favorite dancers in the whole world and also the best partner ive had as of yet to a classmate of mine: "i saw a picture of you...you were like this little larvae with ballet shoes and a big grin on your face!"

"chuck norris sayings are about as funny as dead baby jokes...they arent always in good taste but they are jam-packed with humor!"

"oooh have you been to this one ninja site...its allllll about ninjas...man i feel like a dork telling you all this!"

no time outs...just go!

ok just when i think god is going to slow down or peeter out a bit he gears up and comes at me with bigger and better things...or at the very least continues to leave me dumbfounded at how well orchestrated my life is...whether i realize it at the time or not...i just love seeing how much he works in my life and how much my life is jigsaw puzzled into others as well...i love it! just love it.

however...this whole lets have michelle's car decide to revolt against her and make her have to put in a new alternator as well as make her realize that something is also wrong with the thingy that holds her muffler...um yeah...needs to cease and disist! michelle is poor and is not appriciative of purple people eaters that eat up all of her money! boo to that!

beautiful one...

man god is just truly amazing, how he pieces our lives together and just always seems to know when we need a boost or when we need to take note of something, he is just so awesome. and i love the fact that i am consistently being blown away by him. just love it!

you're where?

ok so yesterday i was to meet a new friend of mine tarah for coffee up at higher grounds which is right next to IHOP (international house of prayer), um yeah...i'd been there once before and for whatever reason i seemed to think i could get there again by myself no need to get directions...its simple! HA!
i so should have known better! (especially being that it was a day off from school) anyways almost two hours later and after making three very large circles all somewhat intersecting i managed to find my way there...i swear i think there were a couple wormholes or some vortex's around yesterday cause i managed to see grandview, truman farm and martin city...all in one day! it got to the point that i started leaving messages on people's cell phones saying something to the effect of im lost im trying to get to ihop and i just passed X intersection ive been driving for over an hour now and am still lost...if you get the chance laugh at me first and then give me a call back...yeah...leave it to me to have such a random adventure.

oh well

ooh and good news! today was my first point class and i managed to keep all the skin in tact on my feet! whooo hoo!

extra extra!

someone told me today that i was a brat and i couldnt figure out why that bothered me so much...until now...after mulling it over most of the evening i finally realized why that bugged me so much. i have spent almost all of my life trying not to be that person, all throughout school when i was in st.louis (elementary, middle and high) i was surrounded by brats who were spoonfed everything they ever wanted and i prized myself on NOT being like them...and yet here i sit today and i have no clue how i have managed to be labeled that which i despise with every ounce of my being. how did i get here? and why?

so i guess as is usual for me...(as if it doesnt happen more than three times a day at least)...

"I'M CONFUSED!!!!!"

dum da dum dum!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY CALEY!!!!!!

congratulations on joining the quarter century club! (i still have a few more months left in my membership...but its great to be able to pass on the torch!)

hope its a good one!

hooray!

good news...i have the skin on my toes for one more day...we didnt have pointe today (whooopee!) unfortunately i will have it tomorrow...oh well. flip flops here i come! :P

help!

ok other than eating bananas, drinking more water than i could possibly relieve myself of, advil advil advil and hot baths is there anything else that will help alieviate sore cramping muscles?

cause my muscles will just not relax...they are really quite pissed off at me for trying to make them do things they havent done in oh id say two years. um yeah so anything to get me walking slightly more normal again would be great...but if you tell me cider vinegar ill scream cause that is the most NASTIEST stuff ive ever had the opportunity to try. bleah!

k well bedtime!

oh yeah baby!

ok im REALLY sore! not like the mild ooh that was a good work out sore, im talking cant get up from the couch or out of your car without being scared that you are going to have a leg give out on you...not to mention trying to make it all the way down to toilet level! i just want it to get better...not worse! :(
but good news is that it is SO good to be back dancing! it makes my heart sing! i love it! why did i wait this long to go back?!
k well im off to get some sleep so i can try to crawl out of bed tomorrow.

nerves happiness and stinky stinky feet

oh my gooooood-ness! i was soooo nervous today going into my first dance class in about two years! wee haw! but i got good news im a dingbat and registered wrong so i actually dont start my day until 10:30! yea! which means i get to sleep in a bit more than i had originally expected to...oh yeah baby! but man i am already stiff and sore meaning tomorrow is going to be much much worse. and goodness i forgot how stinky my feet can get! whew! somebody get me some de-stinkifiers cause wow my ballet shoes reek! but all in all it was a wonderful day and i know i am right where i need to be...out there twinkleto'in it. :)

the little dancer who could

i think i can i think i can i think i can!
i can do this! its been two years but i can dance, i just know it! too bad i get to find out tomorrow just how out of shape i am! oh well...better late than never! wish me luck as i plie with the best of em! (i am sooooo excited!)
just call me twinkle toes! :D

holy cow!

ok when my time is up i hope

i can put up as much of a fight as this little heifer!

what a riot!

the best part is that the whole debacle happens in my parents' home town of Great Falls Montana! (not many unusual things happen there) but it IS gorgeous!

MOO!

PASSIONately wanting to become a hermit

ok passions rocked my socks off, i dont deny it but lord oh lord dont make me deal with another full bus or large group of people for a while...man i learned how much i need my own time for sanity's sake if nothing else. i also learned i process things better when i talk them out one on one with people as well as needing down time in-between big life changing events or things...cause i have to process it before i can fully move on to the next thing...needless to say i am tired and thinking very much of becoming a hermit for a while...just kidding...i think.

i do say dont ever try being sleep deprived for 4 days before boarding a bus with 55 people on it only to spend the next almost half a day on the bus with them and then go straight into heavy worship and service and then not sleep that night and have a super busy cracked out day...its not good for moral! i FINALLY slept tuesday night for the first time in 5 days (it had been 5 days since i had slept longer than 3 or 4 hours) yeah baby! so needless to say i was on fire on wednesday. i hit my people tolerance wall numerous times but there were two really good ones...yeah gotta love it when you start muttering to yourself and just going crazy at nothing...wee haw!

but nashville was fun, what very little of it i saw...im gonna have to go back and sightsee at a later date. but you can bet your bum that i will be going to atlanta next year...cause its hard to find something that rocks your socks off so bad that you end up flat on your back going i love it and i hate it all at the same time and yet somehow i am becoming strangely addicted! 18,000 people (yes that really is supposed to be eighteen THOUSAND!) is impossible to fathom until you have expirienced it. 18,000 people in one building to WORSHIP!!!!!! i cant even explain it...its not even worth trying...well...ok fine..."YEE HAW"!!!

bring it ON!!!!

ok 2006...gimmie your best shot! just see if you can rock my socks off more than last year...i DARE you!

yeah...take that!

YEE HAWWWW!!!!!!

sorry im so sleep deprived right now i dont even know if any of the above is coherent. hahaha!
weeeeee!

special bulletin: this just in! michelle is fan-TAB-ulously special!