a promise to myself

tonight was one of those frying pan moments...and it was a doozy...we're talking super heavy steel or a combo of lead and iron so heavy you can barely pick it up much less swing it...yeah this one is gonna leave me with a concussion i do believe...
end result...a promise to myself and a request for you all...i promise to myself that i will spend this year trying to stand and fight when things get hard or sticky or potentially hurtful or may make me vulnerable instead of fleeing in fear. i promise to try to answer truthfully when asked how i am doing and to take compliments as just that...a compliment not something to try to blow off. and now my dear friends your part in all this...if at any time you see me go into flee mode (ie i am clearly lying when i say i am fine, i dont answer at all or you notice me clamming up or disappearing into the side lines) call me on it...challenge me to stand and fight and god-forbid actually talk about how i am truly feeling. i have tried to pretend im fine for the last umpteen years and that hasnt really worked for me so now its time to stop running cause im getting no-where. i deserve to stop and fight for me. so please help me to do that more. and i apologize in advance for snapping at you when you get too close to the truth.
love you all!
and thanks for being there.