with a little help...

ok i think i get it now...

today was the first sucky day ive had in quite a while...yes ive complained numerous days but i truly havent had a day where you just go "EWWWW!" "why did that even have to happen and why oh why is it not fixing itself...i mean even with the resolve of im going to be incharge of my own moods and make it a good one..." (and then you still lose cause you end up even more in a funk than you originally started)
yeah it was one of THOSE days...but i think i get it now...i think god was poking at my faith and my devotion to him (you know like the im not touching you kind of sibling stuff that just raises the hairs on the back of your neck), just checking to see if i really had checked in as i had declared...which i have. and as rough as this day was...nothing major just lots of cruddy little things that allow doubt, fear, irritation, etc. but i stood fast to my beliefs and decided to just give it back to him...that he knows what he is doing and that there truly IS a reason for all this. i think first of all it made me thankful for how many good days ive had lately, it also showed me that i have a lot to work on in order to be able to stay postive when i start back at school on the 9th. and it showed me how much stronger i am than i used to be...a couple of years ago and day like this would have sent me into a tailspin of depression and woe-is-me, but not today...tomorrow is a new day with which i will rejoice in.
so...

awake my soul and sing!


oooh and by the by only 4 more days till passion!